I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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