I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
