And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize