bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I need to stop coming to work sober
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It's never too late to be topless.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
