he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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