So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
