I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
please come you make the beer taste better
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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