Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
