I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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