the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm always down for nudity.
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