I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
