Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
