Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
