What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
