Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
