Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
