I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
