This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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