just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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