your parents love me but you hate me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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