he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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