I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
