No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
