i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
