you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
