She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Such a big mess for such a small penis
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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