This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
