apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
