Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
