Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.

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  (678): He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went. http://tfl.nu/yfsi
  Replies (38) Good night (5647) Bad night (1458)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents

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  (563): oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents http://tfl.nu/iqnb
  Replies (8) Good night (3151) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.

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  (+44): I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka. http://tfl.nu/sj2z
  Replies (6) Good night (3508) Bad night (1287)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.

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  (612): I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot. http://tfl.nu/k764
  Replies (3) Good night (1978) Bad night (572)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza

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  (806): I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza http://tfl.nu/jih1
  Replies (3) Good night (1560) Bad night (840)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.

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  (985): I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud. http://tfl.nu/94cv
  Replies (5) Good night (970) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.

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  (860): So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled. http://tfl.nu/ouz2
  Replies (6) Good night (2005) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.

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  (813): I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry. http://tfl.nu/1un5
  Replies (7) Good night (521) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back

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  (734): It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back http://tfl.nu/xmyb
  Replies (8) Good night (613) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.

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  (316): She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public. http://tfl.nu/5b68
  Replies (3) Good night (1460) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.

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  (708): Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good. http://tfl.nu/6ter
  Replies (12) Good night (788) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.

  (858): View more from California

  Where did he get the tophat?

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  (858): we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat. (858): Where did he get the tophat? http://tfl.nu/1w08
  Replies (5) Good night (1032) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.

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  (512): Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time. http://tfl.nu/pc17
  Replies (5) Good night (699) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"

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  (713): My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN" http://tfl.nu/ihut
  Replies (4) Good night (868) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.

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  (229): I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future. http://tfl.nu/le78
  Replies (2) Good night (332) Bad night (133)

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