Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(903): View more from Texas

Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?

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(518): View more from New York

my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...

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(859): View more from Kentucky

That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(714): View more from California

I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.

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(707): View more from California

I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.

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(541): View more from Oregon

How are you feeling?

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.

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(207): View more from Maine

Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?

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