is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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