do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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