Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize