Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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