There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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