yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
