i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he shaved USA in his pubs
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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