My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
