booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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