I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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