don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
