hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
