I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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