i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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