i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
