i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize