guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize