i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Found the puke drawer
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
