I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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