would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
