Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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