I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize