How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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