I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm really busy with my period
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