So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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