Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
