Cold hands, warm shart.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My feet surprised me
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
