I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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