Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
