this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
