I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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