she was so not down for the gang bang
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
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