dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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