haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize