Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
