She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize