My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
