I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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