Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
